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Tuesday, March 29, 2011
rotten.
What I'm doing is wrong. It's rotten, and complete foul play. My actions and my thoughts have split and heart's just wandering between the two roads without making up it's mind.... because I'm too weak. But, I'm not willing to let go of either.... No.. I don't want to. But in despair.... out of need. Because it hurts too much. To ease the pain... to pull up a facade.. to hide the wound from myself. Deceive myself. Fool myself. Protect myself. Out of helplessness. I'm desperate. But I know I'm in the wrong.... so much. My indecisiveness and weakness is leading to a rotten core. But what am I to do?
Monday, March 28, 2011
hail.nah.
you won't see me cussing often. but.. right now..
WHAT THE FUCK LIKE ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME THIS IS DOUCHE JOKE!
on another issue...
I'm so lost.
WHAT THE FUCK LIKE ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME THIS IS DOUCHE JOKE!
on another issue...
I'm so lost.
Saturday, March 26, 2011
wild nights.
yesterday's night was...................................
interesting - to say the very least.
i'm so guilty.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
prom.
The most hyped graduating class dance/event.
Will I regret not going?
Honestly.... there's no one at school I would go with. The whole graduating class could ask me and I'd turn all of them down. Minus one friend - but he's set on not going so subtract him and I really wouldn't take any other date. It's just the fact that anyone else who asks might ask for - no other reason but that they actually do like me or they might potentially start - and I'm not interested in anyone at school. At all. Zip. Zada nada. And as for the really close permanent guy friends other than that one friend - well I would so go with one, but he has a girlfriend so of course he would go with his girlfriend.. as for the other - well. He is a befuddled mess who can cross that friendship border way too easily. As for anyone else... well - considering how the rest of my close men friend are older, prom's a cheesy idea. Now... if one good buddy was close enough, I would ask him to go as my date just because I know it would be super fun since we get along so well and it's comfortable since he's not too older than me; plus I don't think we'd ever see each other as more than friends. But he's too far and if he ever comes close it'll be too late. Blergh. So yeah - that concludes why I'm not going to prom. Reason enough?
Will I regret not going?
Honestly.... there's no one at school I would go with. The whole graduating class could ask me and I'd turn all of them down. Minus one friend - but he's set on not going so subtract him and I really wouldn't take any other date. It's just the fact that anyone else who asks might ask for - no other reason but that they actually do like me or they might potentially start - and I'm not interested in anyone at school. At all. Zip. Zada nada. And as for the really close permanent guy friends other than that one friend - well I would so go with one, but he has a girlfriend so of course he would go with his girlfriend.. as for the other - well. He is a befuddled mess who can cross that friendship border way too easily. As for anyone else... well - considering how the rest of my close men friend are older, prom's a cheesy idea. Now... if one good buddy was close enough, I would ask him to go as my date just because I know it would be super fun since we get along so well and it's comfortable since he's not too older than me; plus I don't think we'd ever see each other as more than friends. But he's too far and if he ever comes close it'll be too late. Blergh. So yeah - that concludes why I'm not going to prom. Reason enough?
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Tuesday, March 22, 2011
crying in the rain.
i want the actual full song.... i would buy it now if i didn't lose my wallet damnit... it's beautiful. i love it.
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