sore feet & winkin' stars.

left foot.
right foot.
both.
the soles.
the toes.
buh ow.

i was looking up at the sky while walking home today. i stared up at it from the bus stop previously a couple times. the amazing thing was.. i could make out more than five stars. i thought i was dreaming, but... i still see them. the LA night sky has shrouded stars for years. But... the other night.... tonight... and from now on hopefully, more nights will be filled with more stars... oh right. speaking of stars - before I forget, just because I need to jot it down somewhere: [Written in the Stars - Eric Turner]

yes. i'm tired.
yes. i'm feeling a little chaotic.
yes. i'm feeling a bit hopeless.

but i will just clench my jaws, my fists, my guts, my heart, my all.... at some point i have to get through everything anyways. nothing comes easy.i don't deserve easy anyways.

at just blank moments like these, it's not a lover, distraction, or best friend i want. because the first would be too busy making me smile to let me just stay glum, the second would end up with me even more exhausted in the end, and the third would constantly be asking one too many questions. wish i had a twin. or, maybe i should go stare in them mirror. or just...a shoulder to rely on, without anything having to be said. just a shoulder.

REALITY rude awakening aims. stop dreaming. what i REALLY need is actually boot camp or something.. to get my head set straight, independent, and goal-oriented. buhh.